7 reasons you shouldn’t have sex when you’re on your period

The world of periods and sex is a pretty fascinating, and sometimes a bit confusing, one. On one hand, you hear about people raving about period sex – how it can be more pleasurable, even alleviate cramps. But on the flip side, there’s a whole host of reasons why many people, or couples, prefer to keep things firmly under wraps when Aunt Flo comes to visit.

This isn’t about shaming anyone’s choices; it’s about giving you the full picture. While some might find it a non-issue, for others, there are very valid considerations, from health concerns to pure personal comfort, that make them think twice. So, if you’ve ever wondered why some folks hit pause on penetrative sex during their time of the month, this article is for you. We’re going to explore the common reasons why stepping back might be the best choice for you or your partner.

1. The Not-So-Glamorous Truth: Increased Risk of STIs

Let’s start with the nitty-gritty: health. While some people swear period sex is perfectly fine, there’s a widely acknowledged, if often ignored, point about the increased risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). During your period, your vaginal lining undergoes hormonal changes, which can make it more delicate and prone to tiny tears or micro-abrasions. Think of it like little invisible cracks that could potentially make it easier for bacteria and viruses to sneak in.

What’s more, menstrual blood itself can act as a lovely medium for transmitting certain blood-borne STIs, such as HIV or Hepatitis B and C, if they’re present. Now, before you panic, using a condom is still your absolute best friend for STI prevention, period or no period. But even with a condom, no protection is 100% foolproof, and the presence of blood can, for some infections, increase the probability of transmission if one partner carries an STI. It’s definitely something to be mindful of.

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2. The Unwanted Guests: Higher Risk of UTIs and Yeast Infections

Beyond STIs, there’s also the less serious, but still incredibly annoying, risk of other infections. Your period messes with your vagina’s natural pH balance. It becomes slightly less acidic, which can make it a more inviting environment for unwelcome guests like bacteria that cause urinary tract infections (UTIs) or the fungi that cause yeast infections (thrush).

The act of penetrative sex itself can also introduce bacteria from your partner’s penis, fingers, or even sex toys, directly into your urethra and vagina. Combine this with an already slightly vulnerable environment, and you’ve got a recipe for potential irritation or a full-blown infection. Trust me, a UTI is not the souvenir you want from a steamy session. Good hygiene before and after is always important, but even more so when you’re on your period.

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3. The Elephant in the Room: Messiness and Discomfort

Okay, let’s be honest. For a lot of people, the primary reason to avoid period sex comes down to one simple factor: the mess. No matter how much you try to prepare, the reality of blood getting on sheets, clothes, or even your partner can be a significant turn-off for one or both of you. It can break the mood, lead to awkward clean-up missions, and just generally make things feel less spontaneous and enjoyable.

For some, the sight or sensation of the blood can also be a personal discomfort. It might not be a health risk, but if you’re constantly worried about staining the duvet or feeling “icky,” it’s probably not going to be the most pleasurable experience. Personal preferences play a huge role here, and if the thought of it makes you inwardly cringe, that’s a perfectly valid reason to opt out.

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4. The Agony (or Annoyance) of Pain and Cramping

For many, their period comes with a hefty dose of unwelcome physical symptoms. We’re talking cramps that make you want to curl up in a ball, bloating that makes your favourite jeans feel like a torture device, headaches, and just general fatigue. The last thing you want when you’re feeling utterly rubbish is to engage in an activity that might make you feel even worse.

For some, the physical act of intercourse, particularly with deep penetration, can actually aggravate existing cramps or trigger new discomfort. It might not be a pleasure-inducing experience, but rather one that adds to your current misery. Listening to your body is absolutely crucial here. If it’s screaming “no,” then “no” it should be.

5. When the Mood Just Isn’t Right: Reduced Libido or Lack of Desire

While some lucky souls experience a surge in libido during their period (hello, hormonal rollercoaster!), many others find their sexual desire plummets. This can be due to a combination of hormonal fluctuations, physical discomfort, tiredness, or just a general feeling of being “off.”

If you’re not feeling it, you’re just not feeling it, and that’s okay. Pushing yourself or being pushed into having sex when your libido has packed its bags for the week can lead to resentment, discomfort, and a less enjoyable experience for everyone involved. Respecting a partner’s genuine lack of desire is paramount for a healthy sexual relationship, regardless of the time of the month.

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6. Honouring Beliefs: Religious or Cultural Considerations

For a significant number of people across the globe, religious or cultural beliefs play a pivotal role in their decision to abstain from sex during menstruation. In various traditions, such as Judaism (niddah), Islam, and some branches of Hinduism, menstruation is viewed as a period of ritual impurity, or a time when sexual intimacy is specifically forbidden or discouraged.

These deeply held beliefs are often rooted in centuries-old practices and spiritual interpretations. For those who adhere to them, engaging in sexual activity during menstruation would go against their core principles and could cause significant emotional or spiritual distress. It’s incredibly important to respect and understand a partner’s religious or cultural practices, as these are often profoundly personal and non-negotiable aspects of their life.

7. The Head Game: Psychological Discomfort / Body Image Issues

Beyond the physical, there’s also the psychological aspect. For some, their period can bring with it a sense of feeling less confident, less attractive, or even “unclean.” This isn’t about hygiene – it’s about how one feels about their body during this time of the month. The presence of blood, bloating, or skin breakouts can sometimes trigger body image issues or a general sense of self-consciousness that makes the idea of intimacy unappealing.

These feelings are valid, and if someone feels psychologically uncomfortable or anxious about having sex during their period, it’s unlikely to be a truly pleasurable or connecting experience. Open communication with a partner about these feelings can help build understanding and reassurance, ensuring that intimacy only happens when both parties are truly comfortable, mentally and physically.

Alternatives and Important Considerations

So, if penetrative sex is off the table during your period, does that mean all intimacy grinds to a halt? Absolutely not! There are countless ways to maintain closeness and sexual expression. Think about exploring other forms of intimacy that don’t involve penetration: oral sex, manual stimulation, massage, cuddling, or simply spending quality time together. These can be just as satisfying and often foster deeper connection.

Crucially, communication is key. Always, always talk to your partner about your comfort levels, desires, and any concerns you might have regarding period sex. Being open and honest ensures both of you are on the same page and that everyone’s boundaries are respected.

And finally, a gentle reminder: if you do choose to have sex during your period, maintaining good hygiene is vital. A quick shower before and after, and perhaps laying down a dark towel, can minimise mess. And to reiterate: condoms are essential if you’re concerned about STIs or pregnancy, regardless of your cycle.

Ultimately, whether to have sex during your period is a deeply personal decision for every individual and couple. There are valid reasons why some choose to avoid it – from the potential for increased health risks and physical discomfort to personal preferences, cultural beliefs, and psychological factors.

Understanding these points allows you to make an informed choice that prioritises your health, comfort, and peace of mind. What matters most is open dialogue, mutual respect, and ensuring that any intimate activity is genuinely consensual, comfortable, and enjoyable for everyone involved. So, listen to your body, talk to your partner, and do what feels right for you.