Seeing your ex regularly means the brain hasn’t been given enough time or space to let go. Every familiar glance or polite “hello” reactivates those neural pathways tied to the relationship. The emotional seesaw—laughing one moment, heart-tightening the next—is painful, but deeply normal. You’re essentially rewiring your heart.
Here are ways you can protect your heart and move on if you still have to see them:
1. Full Permission to Feel
Start with emotional honesty. Let yourself cry, be angry, feel lost—whatever comes. Heartbreak isn’t just metaphorical; it stains your brain the same way grief does, so give yourself permission to ride those waves.
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Heartbreak
Suppressing emotions may seem easier, but actually slows healing.
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2. Set Practical Boundaries
When you have to see them—at work, in your friendship group—keep interactions brief and neutral. A nod, a polite “hello,” and then a swift exit. If they’d habitually chat, let them know you’re focusing on moving forward.
It’s not cruelty; it’s self-respect. Ensure you set your boundaries and enforce them.
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3. Digital Clean Space
Social media updates from them can be like emotional landmines. Mute, unfollow, archive. Curate your feed to include uplifting content—memes, friends, hobbies.
Every time you see something positive, your brain gets a little break from the heartbreak.
4. Reinvent Your Routine
Walk a different route to the bus, try a new café, join a class. Even minute changes in your daily life disrupt the mental patterns that keep dragging you back.
Experts emphasise these fresh routines as essential to reprogramming how you think and feel .
5. Reinvest in Yourself
Breakups strip your identity down to “ex’s partner.” Rebuild deliberately: reconnect with friends, pick up long-forgotten hobbies, read, write or learn something new.
20 Lessons I learnt from my breakup.
New routines build confidence, create joy, and remind you of who you really are.
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6. Talk, Reflect & Reframe
Chatting with a mate, writing it down, or talking with a therapist helps you process—don’t bottle it up. Journaling or just talking out loud lends clarity. You might reframe the relationship not as a loss but a lesson: this didn’t work, and that’s how you learn what next time should be. Doing so reshapes painful nostalgia into positive self-growth .
It’s absolutely okay that healing isn’t linear. Some days you’ll feel stronger, others like you’ve taken ten steps back. But if you hold fast to these six actions, each day will cumulatively dilute the pain. One day—in no time—you’ll realise you’re living your own story again, rather than theirs. And that moment? Utterly liberating.
Sending gentle strength your way. You’ve got this.
