Ghanaian journalist Stephen Adjetey Abban has reacted to a recent social media exchange in which two women openly discussed their preferences regarding men and sexual performance.
One user wrote, “I really don’t like a man that lasts too long,” while another stated, “If a man lasts too long, I’d think he doesn’t like me or he’s not attracted to me… Anything more than 15 minutes, count me out.”
According to the popular journalist popularly known as Gabs, these comments highlight the complexity of women and the wide range of expectations men encounter.
He notes that such statements may appear complimentary on the surface. Still, they reveal a broader truth; men must avoid relying on universal claims or external pressure when shaping their approach to intimacy.
Abban argues that the “wild things” women say they want, particularly those influenced by adult-rated content, are not universally applicable.
Preferences differ significantly, and each woman defines pleasure and satisfaction in her own way. He emphasises that no single formula applies to all.
Drawing from conversations with many female friends over the years, Gabs explains that every woman holds a unique perspective on sex and the elements that contribute to a fulfilling experience.
For this reason, he advises men to take charge of their own narrative and build a personal blueprint that reflects what works for them.
In his view, one principle remains consistent: the importance of foreplay. Gabs describes it as an essential investment and a reliable pathway to elevating intimacy.
He cautions men against feeling inferior or pressured by discussions about stamina, size, or duration.
He questions widely promoted performance standards, asking why anyone should spend 30 minutes or more on one act or aim for multiple rounds.
Gabs states that a complete session could consist of 35 minutes of foreplay and five minutes of penetration, challenging the notion that endurance defines success.
He concludes with a principle of autonomy, encouraging men to operate outside imposed expectations: be like Grace VanderWaal, create your own rules rather than follow the rules set by others.
