Being kind and considerate is a great quality, but when does it cross the line into people-pleasing? If you find yourself constantly prioritising others at your own expense, you might be overextending yourself. While helping out and being supportive are admirable traits, chronic people-pleasing can lead to stress, burnout, and even resentment.
Here are five signs you might be giving too much of yourself.
1. You Struggle to Say No
Do you find yourself saying yes to requests even when you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, or simply unwilling? People pleasers often fear that saying no will make them appear rude or unkind. Whether it’s agreeing to extra work, taking on favours, or social commitments you don’t actually want to attend, constantly putting others first can drain your energy.
💡 What to do: Practise setting boundaries. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for declining something that doesn’t serve you. A simple, “I can’t commit to that right now, but thanks for asking!” is perfectly valid.
2. You Feel Guilty Prioritising Yourself
When was the last time you truly focused on your own needs without feeling guilty? If you struggle with self-care because you think you should be doing something for others instead, you might be overextending yourself. People pleasers often associate their worth with how much they do for others, making it hard to take a step back and recharge.
💡 What to do: Remind yourself that taking care of your own well-being isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
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3. You Go Out of Your Way to Avoid Conflict
Do you avoid expressing your real opinions because you don’t want to upset anyone? If you constantly suppress your thoughts, agree with others to keep the peace, or apologise even when you’re not in the wrong, you’re likely prioritising harmony over your own feelings.
💡 What to do: It’s okay to have different opinions and stand up for yourself. Disagreements are natural, and a healthy relationship—whether personal or professional—should allow space for honest conversations.
4. You Take on More Than You Can Handle
If your schedule is packed with things you don’t actually want to do, it might be a sign that you’re saying yes too often. People pleasers often stretch themselves thin, feeling obligated to be available for everyone at all times, which can lead to mental and physical exhaustion.
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💡 What to do: Start assessing what really matters to you. Before agreeing to something, ask yourself: Do I genuinely want to do this, or do I feel pressured into it?
5. You Feel Resentful Towards Others
At first, helping people feels good. But if you constantly give and rarely receive support in return, resentment can creep in. You may feel unappreciated, used, or even frustrated that others don’t acknowledge your sacrifices. This is a clear sign that your people-pleasing habits are taking a toll.
💡 What to do: Recognise that it’s okay to expect mutual respect in relationships. Start setting small boundaries and prioritising relationships that are balanced and fulfilling.
People-pleasing can be an exhausting cycle, but the good news is that you can break free. Setting boundaries, prioritising your well-being, and learning to say no when necessary will help you regain control of your time and energy. You deserve to prioritise yourself just as much as you prioritise others.
So, are you a people pleaser? If any of these signs sound familiar, it might be time to start making changes for your own well-being.
