Doing these things will help you rekindle love and romance in your marriage

Let’s have a frank natter, shall we? When you’ve been married for a while, perhaps a few years, maybe even a decade or two, that initial whirlwind of giddy excitement often settles into a comfortable hum. And comfort is grand, truly it is. It’s the bedrock of a solid partnership. But sometimes, that hum can feel a tad bit quiet, can’t it? The butterflies have flown off to find newer, shinier flowers, and the spontaneous gestures have given way to… well, routine.

If you’re nodding along, don’t despair for a second! This isn’t a sign your marriage is on the rocks; it’s simply a natural evolution. Think of it less as a dying flame and more like a beautifully crafted Ghanaian kente cloth that just needs a good airing and perhaps a fresh embellishment. Rekindling the love isn’t about conjuring magic; it’s about intentional effort, a bit of fun, and remembering why you fell for that wonderful person in the first place.

Ready to get that spark glowing again? Here are some practical, down-to-earth ways to fan the flames:

1. Reclaim “Us” Time – No Excuses!

Life in Ghana, with its vibrant pace, family commitments, and work demands, can make dedicated couple time feel like a luxury. But it’s not a luxury; it’s a necessity. That humble date night, for instance, sounds a bit cliché, but it truly works. It doesn’t have to be a fancy dinner in Osu every week. A quiet evening preparing your favourite waakye or banku together, a stroll along a less-busy beach, or simply putting the kids to bed early and having a proper chat over a cuppa can be just as effective.

The key here is intentionality; make it a regular fixture, not a “if we get round to it” event. Even if you can’t swing a full date, inject quality into tiny moments. A genuine “how was your day?” with active listening when your partner walks in, sharing a laugh over a funny video, or holding hands whilst watching TV. These little acts accumulate into a mountain of connection.

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2. Get Your Affection Game On

Remember those early days when you couldn’t keep your hands off each other? While the intensity might shift, physical and emotional affection remain vital. Beyond the bedroom, sprinkle physical touch throughout your day. Think a quick hug as you pass in the hallway, a spontaneous squeeze of the hand during a conversation, or resting your head on their shoulder.

These non-sexual touches are powerful reminders of your connection and help build emotional intimacy. Moreover, consider verbal validation. When was the last time you truly complimented your partner? Not just on their outfit, but on their resilience, their kindness, their sense of humour? Tell them why you appreciate them. A sincere “You handled that situation brilliantly today, I admire your patience” can mean the world. And yes, tell them they’re still smashingly attractive!

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3. Let’s Talk, Proper!

Communication isn’t just about sharing information; it’s about sharing your inner world. Try truly hearing your partner by practising active listening. We’re often guilty of listening just to form our reply, but putting down the phone, making eye contact, and asking clarifying questions like, “So, if I’m understanding you correctly, you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed by work?” can make a huge difference. Another game-changer is using “I” statements rather than accusations. Instead of saying, “You always leave your things everywhere!”, try expressing your feelings: “I feel a bit stressed when the house is untidy, and I’d really appreciate it if we could tackle it together.”

This approach invites collaboration, not confrontation. Don’t just talk about the bills and the kids either. What are your individual dreams? Your shared aspirations? Dream and scheme together – planning a future trip, discussing a new venture, or even just what you want to achieve next year can rekindle that sense of being on the same team, heading towards exciting horizons.

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4. Relive the Good Old Days (and Create New Ones!)

Nostalgia is a powerful emotional booster. Journey down memory lane by pulling out old photos – maybe from your courtship, your wedding, or early family holidays. Reminisce about funny moments, challenges you overcame together, and the adventures you’ve had.

This helps you remember the ‘why’ you chose them. While familiarity is comforting, embrace novelty too. Try a new restaurant, explore a part of Accra or your region you’ve never visited, take up a class together, or learn a new recipe. Shared new experiences create fresh memories and keep things from feeling stagnant.

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5. Prioritise ‘You’ So You Can Prioritise ‘Us’

This might sound counter-intuitive, but a strong partnership is made stronger by two healthy individuals. Fuel your own cup by making time for your own hobbies, friendships, and personal growth. Whether it’s reading a good book, hitting the gym, or catching up with your own mates, ensure you have an identity beyond your partner.

When you feel good about yourself, you radiate confidence and positivity, which is incredibly attractive to your partner. Self-love is magnetic, so don’t neglect your own well-being in the service of the marriage; instead, enhance it.

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Rekindling love is an ongoing process, not a grand, dramatic overhaul or a one-time fix. It’s a consistent series of small, thoughtful actions. It’s about remembering that the person you married is still there, and they’re still worth the effort. So, go on, give a few of these a whirl. You might just be chuffed with how brightly your love starts to glow again!