As tributes pour in for Daddy Lumba, his posthumous marital controversy has opened a painful but necessary conversation about love, legality, and self-deception.
Counselor Frank Edem Adofoli, in a recent reflection titled “Love, Lies and Legal Ties,” sighted by MyNewsGh, turned the spotlight on wome, particularly those who find themselves unknowingly cast as “second wives,” (side chicks).
“It’s sad that many women believe they are ‘second wives’ when in reality, they are just mistresses or sidekicks,” he wrote.
“The law doesn’t care about your feelings. It only recognises facts.”
Adofoli explained that under a monogamous marriage system, any subsequent union entered without a legal divorce is invalid. No amount of emotional investment or public recognition can change that. “The same law you ignored does not recognise you as a spouse either,” he cautioned.
The counselor also addressed a deeper psychological layer, the desperation of some women to “secure” a man who hasn’t properly ended his previous marriage.
“If he marries you without divorcing his first wife, your marriage is not recognised by law,” he said, calling for self-respect and awareness.
He encouraged women to “use their heads when they fall in love,” noting that feelings alone are not enough to sustain a lawful or healthy relationship.
Adofoli ended his message with a biblical reminder that no one escapes accountability;“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked.”
